This is the kind of crap I tweet....

What responsible parent lets their sixteen-year-old daughter sail around the world by herself? Answer: parents who had a reality show deal in place.

I wouldn’t let my daughter Annie do that and she’s in her 20’s. And as you can see from her letter to me, she's really passionate about this:

Dear Dad,

As you well know, it has been my dream to sail around the world by myself ever since you brought it up yesterday. It is so unfair that you won’t let me. All of my friends are sailing around the world by themselves, and their parents don’t mind! It can’t be that difficult. Cartoon characters manage to sail all the time. Besides, sailing around the world isn't about sailing around the world. It's about independence. Becoming a self-sufficient woman. If you won't let me do this, why not just buy me a chastity belt or sell me off to the neighbor’s son? I insist that you let me carry out my two-day old dream and be the somewhere-within-the-top-100-youngest person to sail around the world. If you refuse, I will have no choice but to give you the silent treatment for quite a few days.

Okay, I have to admit, she makes some very good points.

Expect Arizona to rethink their controversial new immigration bill. Was it the many angry protests and threats of boycotts that did the trick? Not a chance. Those did nothing. But Hall & Oates just cancelled their concert at a Diamondbacks game. Now we got their attention!

Is Nate Robinson and other Celtics wearing those long white sleeves to cover their tattoos during the NBA Finals? Jesus, isn’t it enough the league won’t let players bring loaded handguns to the crowded arenas anymore? Whatever happened to free expression, motherfuckers?

If the Lakers didn’t get into the Finals Dyan Cannon would have no career at all.

How many bolts do you think there are in the Boston Gardens’ parquet floor? You should not rest until you find out.

Sorry Jews but Stephen Strasburg is Christian. You still have Koufax though, and Lou Piniella’s favorite pitcher, Steve Stone.

My eye is slowly improving. Thanks to those of you who have inquired. Here’s where I am: I can see Nate Robinson but not to where he’d have to wear a sleeve.

January Jones (Betty from MAD MEN) allegedly slammed into three parked cars and left the scene over the weekend. She fled after saying, "I can't deal with this commotion." I know. You have to talk to real people and exchange insurance information and apologize and pretend that you care about others. Ick ick ick. Who can be bothered?

Kobe Bryant is the only basketball player I know who takes a helicopter to home games. Hey January, you should look into that.

Had a reunion lunch with the ALMOST PERFECT writers yesterday. Everybody still looks great. It was so much fun to get together and trash everyone in show business just like the old days. There was a moment when we were ripping apart CELEBRITY REHAB that sentimentality overwhelmed me and I thought, "I really do love you people".

Still hard to get excited about the World Cup when 1-0 is considered a blowout.

Some quick thoughts on the Tonys. Yeah, I’m a day late but so what? Nobody watched them anyway.

I don’t care that Catherine Zeta-Jones won. Her rendition of “Send in the Clowns” was maybe the worst EVER. Overwrought, amateurish, and completely without irony. Roseanne could have done better.

How come in their “In Memoriam” tribute Gary Coleman wasn’t included?

Lea Michele is no Barbra Streisand.

Composers and lyricists don’t even warrant prime time Tonys? So if Stephen Sondheim had an original musical this year his award would be lumped in with the costume and lighting guys? Oh well. More screen time for the grand dame of Broadway, Paula Abdul.

Watching the production number from Green Day’s AMERICAN IDIOT I guess Broadway now must have one obligatory SPRING AWAKENING show per season. Next year it’s the Foxboro Hot Tubs’ turn.

Denzel, take a moment from loving yourself to learn just who the organization is that is bestowing you with a Tony.

Great seeing Barbara Cook and Angela Lansbury. Not so great seeing some creature they claimed was Rachel Welsh.

I miss Neil Patrick Harris.

The Tonys are the only award show where no one thanks their wives.