Why I'll never be a judge on AMERICAN IDOL

Watching the twelve semi-finalist girls on AMERICAN IDOL earlier this week I was struck by how similar they were.  Big voices all doing Maria Carey and Alicia Keys.  Ya need someone to belt out a power ballad?   Ya need someone to show off and do useless runs in the middle of songs for no reason?  These are your gals.  The judges fawn all over them while I just shake my head.   Not only are these women becoming interchangeable from each other, they're becoming interchangeable from season to season.

Here are two women singers that I really like.  I'm sure many of you know them. They've sold a shitload of records ("shitload" being the official RIAA measurement for tallying music sales). I suspect neither of these girls would have survived day one of Hollywood Week, assuming they even got that far.  Clearly, my taste is not in line with what the producers of AMERICAN IDOL want. 

What do you think?  And you're welcome to call me crazy. I've been called a lot worse, this week even. Up first are two girls that I like.  Then two AMERICAN IDOL contestants that are wowing the judges. One was on the bubble, had to compete with two other girls, gave the worst, screechiest performance ever, just massacring a song, and yet she was still selected over the other more deserving two. 

Listen carefully because I'm going to ask you to vote.

Here's Nicole Atkins.  She's been called a female Roy Orbison.  Throw in a little Mama Cass. 


Next up, Feist (Leslie Feist). This song makes we want to dance and buy an iPod Nano.


And now here are IDOL standouts Haley Reinhart and Ashley Jones.


Okay America (and the world), it's your turn to vote. Of these four, which two would you keep and which two would you send packing? The lines are open!!   THIS is AMERICAN SOMETHING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND!!!!